Falling in love and starting a new job
Seeing my name on the small list of contributors to the right, I felt a pang of guilt at not having contributed to or read Flapping Mouths for quite some time. I've just started a new job and fallen in love...
Falling in love and starting a new job are 2 great ways to learn stuff about oneself, I've found. Even though I've been doing Zazen for a while now and foolishly thought I was 'pretty sorted' as soon as I shifted my environment I'm all over the place again. Paranoia, angst, sadness, jealousy, and confusion abound.
And it kind of dawned upon me that this is probably what it's going to be like all the time - life's pretty confusing at the best of times, but then add a new job and love to the equation and it gets a lot more confusing.
Sometimes I feel like I should have the answers, because everyone else seems to have answers to people's problems. But if I'm really honest I haven't really got a clue what is best for me or for anyone else...
All I really know is that I shouldn't be fooled by my thoughts or feelings.
But then sometimes, I feel like I should be fooled.